Have you decided that you and your partner need professional support? Are you tired of having the same fight over and over again—with little to no resolve?
You’ve heard the harrowing divorce statistics. Approximately 40 to 50% of married American couples eventually divorce. While New Jersey has lower rates of divorce than many other parts of the country, research reveals that there are 9.66 divorced people per 1,000 married individuals, or 500 couples.
Read on for more insight into what you need to know about marriage counseling in New Jersey.
Understanding How Marriage Counseling in New Jersey Works
You’re tired of feeling like you aren’t on the same page anymore. Maybe you don’t trust your partner. Or, maybe you’re struggling with sexual intimacy or emotional connection. Perhaps you’re in the dark aftermath of serious transition like the birth of a child or job relocation or loss.
Marriage counseling in New Jersey (or in any state) is provided by a professional clinician like a psychologist, therapist, counselor, or social worker. These clinicians have academic and clinical experience in treating couples and helping them with a variety of marital issues.
Barring just a few exceptions, counseling is completely confidential. That means you can trust that what you and your spouse talk about remains between you and the clinician.
Counseling is not about ‘taking sides.’ It’s not about determining who is right or wrong on a particular issue. Instead, your counselor will guide you both into harnessing your mutual strengths to tackle any problems together.
The number of counseling sessions will vary depending on several factors including:
- Frequency of sessions (most clients attend sessions per week)
- Nature of the presenting problems
- Couple’s willingness to take feedback and complete homework if assigned
- Extraneous variables (severe mental or physical health problems)
Preparing For Your First Session
You’ve booked your appointment! You’re getting marriage counseling in New Jersey, and you have a good feeling about this clinician. Are you now experiencing a strange combination of emotions that include nervousness, shame, sadness, and restlessness? Know that these feelings are all normal. The thought of sharing your vulnerabilities can be frightening.
Before your first session, it may be helpful to write down any questions or concerns you want to address. You may feel uncomfortable when you first arrive, so it is helpful to have those notes written down as a reference point.
Consider sitting down with your spouse to think about what you most want to get from your sessions. Your counselor will ask you this during the first session, and it’s helpful if you have thoughtful answers prepared.
Your first session will resemble that of a question-and-answer forum. The counselor will ask you both a series of questions about your marriage, concerns, future goals, strengths, and weaknesses. She will also review the pertinent details, such as informed consent, fees, confidentiality, of the counseling process.
After Your First Marriage Counseling Session
You may feel uncomfortable and frustrated as counseling unravels. These are common experiences. Many clinicians describe the therapeutic process as getting worse before it gets better.
That’s because you may be unraveling years of pain, anguish, or even resentment. Confronting those feelings can be difficult, and dealing with complex problems is not always fun. You and your partner may both feel upset towards each other. You may even experience a sense of hopelessness about moving forward.
It’s important to trust the process. While it’s not your counselor’s job to determine the fate of your marriage, you must trust that he or she has the expertise to help you both navigate the treacherous waters.
Closing Thoughts on Marriage Counseling in New Jersey
The decision to seek counseling is incredibly brave and admirable. Remember that you deserve to have the marriage you want. All couples face adversity, but counseling can help you both learn the tools you need to cope with these difficult times.
To learn more about Marriage counseling in New Jersey, contact Lumos Counseling PC today.